Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
