New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
