Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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