I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Randomize
