You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
