I can feel you judging me through the phone.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Randomize
