i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
