I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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