She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
