Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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