having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
tonight lets celebrate not being married
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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