operation harelip BJ is a go
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
