You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
