no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
