so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
