What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
