i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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