Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
