why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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