please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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