I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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