Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
