It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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