Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
