Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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