We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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