Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
