We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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