Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
