At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
