I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
