oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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