I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Randomize
