I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
