Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
