yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
she was so not down for the gang bang
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize