i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
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