There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
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