yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
