Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I skipped work to stalk him.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
He had one of those small greek statue penises
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
