This dress was meant to end up on your floor
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
no you cant smoke seaweed
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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