oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize