5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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