Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
