she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
You're like the curious george of whores
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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