Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Randomize
