The maid of honor just puked.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
