when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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