I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
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