I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
