I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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