take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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