I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
id be glad to
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
