Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize