im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
