Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
