If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
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