dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
