can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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