Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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