You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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