I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Drunk is a universal language darling
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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