The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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