If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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