My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Randomize