going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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