There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
