Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize