He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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