Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
