Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
