In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize