just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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