How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize
