Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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