why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
