I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize